I have, by and large, a preference to be on top. The idea of having some hunk of meat shoved into my ass does not at all turn me on, and the feeling doesn’t either. Being on bottom is uncomfortable for me, I usually have a hard time getting hard, and struggle to get into it. So, generally, I never bottom. But if I’m in a relationship with a guy, then I think it’s incredibly selfish to make him always bend over for me and never return the favor. If he wants to be fucked, then have at it, but if he wants a little role reversal, I struggle to find the nerve to say no. The only guys that I’ve bottomed for have been guys that I’ve developed trust with and that I know would bottom for me. I think this makes my experience immensely better, as I don’t just have some guy hammering away at my ass but instead is invested in my well being - physically, emotionally, and mentally.

A lot of times, guys will say that they’re “total tops” or “power bottoms,” and allow absolutely no room to negotiate. I have to say, this is bullshit. Yeah, there are probably couples who have established roles and are fine with it, and more power to them. But to announce right away that you’re “100% on top” completely throws away the needs of the other person and is a complete prick move.

I will admit, part of the reason that I enjoy being on top is being it gives me a sense of authority and power. Early on, I would have identified myself as a “total top.” But after a little thinking, I realized that this was egocentric and stupid. A friend pointed out that, if he approaches the situation right, a bottom is able to hold more authority than a top. A bottom is able to start and stop the session and dictate the rhythm. This eventually led me to change my perspective a little bit, and finally I concluded that the skilled gay man is both a top and a bottom. Again, we all have our preferences, but to truly know what you’re doing, you should be both. After all, being a bottom will give you better perspective on how to be a top, and being a top will give you better perspective on how to be a bottom.

One of my favorite gay websites, Masculine Gay Guys (NSFW, but completely worth it), has an article called “Real Men Take Turns Fucking Each Other.” And I couldn’t agree more. The article says:

The taboo against taking it up the ass comes from the Romans. To them, a real man penetrated males and females, but he was never penetrated himself. What a fucking lame tradition! Avoiding versatility is sexually ignorant and repressive. It’s time to open up and enjoy male sexuality to its fullest extent.

I couldn’t agree more.

Two of my favorite activities: showering and making out.

This Sports Illustrated article describes Gareth Thomas, a gay Welsh rugbyman, and his reign as one of the very few openly gay athletes in the world. A few articles highlight openly gay athletes in the Olympics, but by and large these athletes are mostly female and/or athletes in less publicized sports like diving. Of course, these athletes should be commended for their courage and openness. However, there is a noticeable lack of gay male athletes in mainstream sports like football, basketball, and baseball - and rugby if you happen to live outside of the United States. Some athletes have come out after retirement, but the amount of male athletes that have come out while playing professionally is lacking. And quite honestly, I can’t blame them.

It would be awesome to live in a world where people could show who they really are. And additionally, I think it would be amazing to have professional athletes to serve as role models for gay athletes everywhere, to normalize homosexuality. But the truth is, an athlete that comes forth as gay risks his career, just as soccer star Justin Fashanu did. Upon coming out, Fashanu was never offered a full-time contract with a club. While this happened twenty years ago this October, it is easy to believe that we as a society have not come far enough to where male athletes are lauded for their talents no matter their sexuality.

Regardless, the story of Gareth Thomas is pretty incredible. After years of suppressing his sexuality, Thomas took off his mask and showed the world who he truly is, and received tremendous support as a result. As of now, Thomas is about the only gay athlete that we have to look up to. While serving as a role model for gay athletes everywhere who yearn to pursue their interests in sports, Thomas also represents gay men in a vastly straight world and shows the world that gay men can be successful in sports, too.

In a hand-written note from last year, Obama addresses a lesbian soldier who was dismissed for coming out. He applauds her service to our country and affirms his intentions to repeal the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

Today we can say, things are starting to look better.

After an embarrassing amount of time, the United States government finally prepares itself to put a halt to its Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Defense Secretary Robert Gates has recently announced that the government will relax its policy while it takes a year to study its discriminatory policy.

Good news: While this is no means a conclusive means to a drawn-out debate, it at least shows that Obama is finally walking the walk.

Bad news: I can no longer use the “I’m gay” excuse if drafted.

Bottom line: A success for our military, our gay community, and our country.