My last entry was intended to be intrductory, and as a result may have been a little slow. So, with this entry, I hope to “spice things up a bit.

A while back, I had been dating a guy pretty seriously. We were going to have lunch at my place, so I decided to go to the local farmers’ market to get some produce. I got there, was overwhelmed by everything, and basically just bought a bunch of stuff that I didn’t need. I got home, opened up my bag, and saw some jalapeno peppers and tomatoes. With a few other ingredients, I decided to make some salsa. I cut up all the vegetables, through them in the food processor, and everything was ready. Of course, I ended up eating about half of the salsa, too, but you can’t blame me for liking spicy food.

I get to cleaning up everything, and my guy shows up maybe half an hour later. It had been a while, so we started making out. Things escalated pretty quickly (what can I say, I don’t mess around) and we went to my bedroom where, within a few minutes, clothes were off. At this point, we’re going at it, our hands all over each other, kissing. I reach down and start rubbing his dick and balls with my hands, still working his mouth with mine.

About a minute later, he pulls away from me and says, “What is that?” I have no idea what he’s talking about, as I’m not doing anything different, and he says, “No, something is tingling.” I still have no idea what he’s talking about and try to kiss him, but he’s still being evasive. “No. You’ve done something. My dick and my mouth are starting to burn!” At this point I’m pretty freaked out and so is he. He gets up, runs to the bathroom, and turns on the cold water in the shower. I’m still flustered and walk in there, and he’s furiously pouring cold water on his crotch, yelling about how much “IT BURNS!” He grabs a toothbrush and brushes his mouth, trying to get the weird sensation out, and turns back to the cold water and dowses his crotch again, rubbing with soap. Meanwhile, I’m sitting there helpless, with no idea what is going on. Finally, he gets out of the shower, slightly relieved of the sensation, and calms down a little. We’re trying to figure out what the hell happened, and move to the kitchen. It’s at that time that I look at my counter, see the produce from the farmers’ market, and remember the jalapenos that I had just cut up - with my hands - and ate - with my mouth. We found the culprit: The jalapeno residue on my hands had scorched his dick.

Needless to say, we no longer make or eat salsa when we’re together.