I have, by and large, a preference to be on top. The idea of having some hunk of meat shoved into my ass does not at all turn me on, and the feeling doesn’t either. Being on bottom is uncomfortable for me, I usually have a hard time getting hard, and struggle to get into it. So, generally, I never bottom. But if I’m in a relationship with a guy, then I think it’s incredibly selfish to make him always bend over for me and never return the favor. If he wants to be fucked, then have at it, but if he wants a little role reversal, I struggle to find the nerve to say no. The only guys that I’ve bottomed for have been guys that I’ve developed trust with and that I know would bottom for me. I think this makes my experience immensely better, as I don’t just have some guy hammering away at my ass but instead is invested in my well being - physically, emotionally, and mentally.

A lot of times, guys will say that they’re “total tops” or “power bottoms,” and allow absolutely no room to negotiate. I have to say, this is bullshit. Yeah, there are probably couples who have established roles and are fine with it, and more power to them. But to announce right away that you’re “100% on top” completely throws away the needs of the other person and is a complete prick move.

I will admit, part of the reason that I enjoy being on top is being it gives me a sense of authority and power. Early on, I would have identified myself as a “total top.” But after a little thinking, I realized that this was egocentric and stupid. A friend pointed out that, if he approaches the situation right, a bottom is able to hold more authority than a top. A bottom is able to start and stop the session and dictate the rhythm. This eventually led me to change my perspective a little bit, and finally I concluded that the skilled gay man is both a top and a bottom. Again, we all have our preferences, but to truly know what you’re doing, you should be both. After all, being a bottom will give you better perspective on how to be a top, and being a top will give you better perspective on how to be a bottom.

One of my favorite gay websites, Masculine Gay Guys (NSFW, but completely worth it), has an article called “Real Men Take Turns Fucking Each Other.” And I couldn’t agree more. The article says:

The taboo against taking it up the ass comes from the Romans. To them, a real man penetrated males and females, but he was never penetrated himself. What a fucking lame tradition! Avoiding versatility is sexually ignorant and repressive. It’s time to open up and enjoy male sexuality to its fullest extent.

I couldn’t agree more.

Two of my favorite activities: showering and making out.

This Sports Illustrated article describes Gareth Thomas, a gay Welsh rugbyman, and his reign as one of the very few openly gay athletes in the world. A few articles highlight openly gay athletes in the Olympics, but by and large these athletes are mostly female and/or athletes in less publicized sports like diving. Of course, these athletes should be commended for their courage and openness. However, there is a noticeable lack of gay male athletes in mainstream sports like football, basketball, and baseball - and rugby if you happen to live outside of the United States. Some athletes have come out after retirement, but the amount of male athletes that have come out while playing professionally is lacking. And quite honestly, I can’t blame them.

It would be awesome to live in a world where people could show who they really are. And additionally, I think it would be amazing to have professional athletes to serve as role models for gay athletes everywhere, to normalize homosexuality. But the truth is, an athlete that comes forth as gay risks his career, just as soccer star Justin Fashanu did. Upon coming out, Fashanu was never offered a full-time contract with a club. While this happened twenty years ago this October, it is easy to believe that we as a society have not come far enough to where male athletes are lauded for their talents no matter their sexuality.

Regardless, the story of Gareth Thomas is pretty incredible. After years of suppressing his sexuality, Thomas took off his mask and showed the world who he truly is, and received tremendous support as a result. As of now, Thomas is about the only gay athlete that we have to look up to. While serving as a role model for gay athletes everywhere who yearn to pursue their interests in sports, Thomas also represents gay men in a vastly straight world and shows the world that gay men can be successful in sports, too.

It’s way past my bed time.

(via blogsecret)

I’ve heard of pineapple, but I’ve never heard of lemons.

It seems that the gay world is rampant with crazies.  From ceaseless stalkers to hopeless meth heads, from sex addicts to pathological liars, they are always amongst us, everywhere we go.  I’m sure we’ve all had run-ins, and having an online presence on gay “dating” sites exponentially increases the probability of coming across one.  It is in this light that I introduce to you Mike, who I affectionately call The Guy Who Wanted To Rape Me.

It all began innocently enough: Some 23 year old guy propositioned me online for sex in exchange for money.  He wasn’t exactly what fits my personal mold of attractive (we all have one), but intrigued, I decided to inquire a bit more.  I asked him what he wanted, he said he wanted to get me drunk for $250.  I’m anything far from being a complete moron, so I knew were this was going. I said, “Sorry, I’m a top only” and he said that I shouldn’t worry, he’d take it slow. I replied, “Hell no.”  So then he asked me what I would do and I said, “What do you want and I’ll you if I can do it.” He asked for a blowjob with a condom for $150. I said I’d think about it but had to go and that we could talk later.  However, at this time I’m definitely not considering doing anything with him and am more just going along to see what this guy was like.

Mike messaged me online the next day and asked if I was still interested, adding that he’d blow me if I would blow him. The guy was pretty adamant about the whole thing and uncomfortable with his aggressiveness, I said that I was no longer interested and logged off.

This guy keeps messaging me incessantly, asking why I don’t want to meet up and what it would take to agree.  I don’t believe in blocking people unless they do something repulsive, because I think it’s cowardice and there are better options, so I just ignored him.  Eventually, however, I decided that I would entertain myself and just drag this out.  The guy had shown himself to be overly aggressive and rude.  I wasn’t interested in playing psychological games with him, however, I still wanted to pick his brain a little.

Eventually, he offered $200 for a two-hour blowjob. I said that there’s no way that I’d give anyone a two hour blowjob. He asked if I drank Jack Daniels. I said no and, taking on some obnoxious, pretentious ass, told him that I only drink Johnny Walker Blue.  He said that he could get some.  Quickly after, he asked if I had ever been fucked, and I responded by saying that I have absolutely no desire and that he would not be sticking his dick anywhere inside my ass.  I then excused myself from the conversation.

This game went on for a good deal longer. Every time, he would offer to by me alcohol to “loosen me up,” and reading between the lines, I asserted that he would not be fucking me.  Mike told me that he’d be gentle, that I shouldn’t worry, and that it would feel good.  I still said hell no.  Occasionally he would tell me “SORRY!” for being too pushy and then ask me if I accept his apology.  I just replied that every time he asks me if I’d ever bottom for him, I become more tempted to just tell him goodbye.  In what was an attempt to show me that he wasn’t a terrible guy, he would ask me questions about my personal life.  I always responded that I prefer to keep my personal life personal.  Soon thereafter, he would tell me that he can offer more “benefits” in exchange for me letting him “go in me.”  I said no, to stop pestering me and look elsewhere.  Mike did not get the message.

The culmination of Mike’s “relationship” with me came two months after he initially messaged me.  He told me that he was sitting in a hotel room with his eight inch cock hard and ready for me. I said no, I’m not interested. We then had this exchange:

Mike: what if i say just massage and take u to a motel and get agressive and rape u Mike: some people like it, u like that? Me: at this point i have no idea if you’re being serious or being sarcastic Mike: u wanna try it Mike: u ever tried that or ever been forced? Me: no, nor do i have any interest Me: and at this point i’d like to say that our contact is over Me: goodbye

The conversation then ended there, but Mike’s efforts to woo me did not. Our last conversation came about a month later, when Mike messaged me saying that he was “fucking tired and needing a massage” and was ready and hard.  I told him that no, I’m not going to meet up with someone who asked if I wanted to be raped.  He then responded with, “u are a GAME good night.”  Mike and I have not talked since that time.

Anyway, the moral of the story to gays everywhere: Don’t be creepy and crazy, because there are already enough of them. Like Mike.